About 5 minutes to read
I think I have committed the unpardonable sin
The scribes from Jerusalem could not deny that Jesus was casting out devils, so they said he did it by the prince of the devils. Jesus answered them.
Verily I say unto you, All sins shall be forgiven unto the sons of men, and blasphemies wherewith soever they shall blaspheme: But he that shall blaspheme against the Holy Ghost hath never forgiveness, but is in danger of eternal damnation: Because they said, He hath an unclean spirit.
Mark 3:28-30 (KJV)
The sin Jesus named was the settled verdict of men who were faced with the Holy Spirit’s work in Christ and called it the devil’s. Those men were not asking for mercy. They were accusing the Savior. If you are asking Christ for mercy, you are doing the opposite of what they did, and whoever calls on the name of the Lord shall be saved (Romans 10:13). No exception is written into that promise, so whatever you fear you did, it has not shut you out. If the fear began with a blasphemous thought that came against your will, that is no settled verdict, and what is written about thoughts you would never choose is for you.
Hebrews 6 and 10 frighten me
Hebrews 6 speaks of people who were enlightened and tasted the good word of God and were made partakers of the Holy Ghost, and then fell away. They had stood close to Christ and walked away from him with their eyes open, like ground that drinks the same rain as a good field and bears only thorns. The passage says such people cannot be renewed to repentance. If you have come back to Christ in repentance, or are coming now, you are not the person it describes.
But, beloved, we are persuaded better things of you, and things that accompany salvation, though we thus speak.
Hebrews 6:9 (KJV)
The writer did not think his readers had fallen. He warned them to keep them from falling, since warnings are one of the ways God keeps his people. And the chapter ends with an anchor, a hope sure and steadfast, given with a promise and an oath so that all who have fled for refuge to it might have strong consolation (6:17-20). If you have fled to Christ for refuge, that anchor is yours.
Hebrews 10:26 frightens many for the same reason. It says no sacrifice remains for those who sin wilfully after they have received the knowledge of the truth, and a man who keeps falling into a sin he knows is wrong fears it means him. Verse 29 says who is meant, the man who has trodden under foot the Son of God and counted the blood of the covenant an unholy thing. If you keep running back to that blood, you are not trampling it, and you are among them that believe to the saving of the soul (10:39).
I might lose my salvation
My sheep hear my voice, and I know them, and they follow me: And I give unto them eternal life; and they shall never perish, neither shall any man pluck them out of my hand. My Father, which gave them me, is greater than all; and no man is able to pluck them out of my Father’s hand.
John 10:27-29 (KJV)
Jesus said that no man can pluck his sheep out of his hand, and he said more. They shall never perish. If a sheep could slip away and be lost for good, that promise would not be true.
This perseverance of the saints depends, not upon their own free will, but upon the immutability of the decree of election, flowing from the free and unchangeable love of God the Father; upon the efficacy of the merit and intercession of Jesus Christ; the abiding of the Spirit and of the seed of God within them; and the nature of the covenant of grace:
Westminster Confession of Faith 17.2
Not one of those supports is your willpower. On the night he was betrayed, Jesus told Peter that Satan had desired to sift the disciples like wheat, and that he had prayed for Peter himself, that his faith would not fail (Luke 22:31-32). Within hours Peter swore with curses that he did not know him. His courage failed. His faith did not finally fail, because Christ had prayed for it. Before Peter ever fell, Jesus told him to strengthen his brethren once he was turned back.
True believers may fall into grievous sins and continue in them for a time (WCF 17.3). They will not fall all the way, and they will not fall for good.
While you wait
Do Not Fight This Alone
A page cannot sit with you or pray over you. Tell your pastor or an elder what you are afraid of. Keep sitting under the preached Word, and if you are a communing member, do not stay away from the Lord’s Table while your doubts are being answered. The Larger Catechism says it was appointed for the relief even of weak and doubting Christians (Q&A 172). Safe in His Keeping gives a few things to do while you wait for the fear to lift.
If you cannot tell whether you have ever come to Christ, do not wait to settle it. Come to him now. He promised to cast out none who come (John 6:37), and the gospel is set out for you in full.