About 4 minutes to read
I do not know if I am saved
You can know. The Confession calls assurance something far firmer than a guess, and it names three grounds for it in an order that protects a frightened conscience.
This certainty is not a bare conjectural and probable persuasion grounded upon a fallible hope; but an infallible assurance of faith, founded upon the divine truth of the promises of salvation, the inward evidence of those graces unto which these promises are made, the testimony of the Spirit of adoption witnessing with our spirits that we are the children of God:
Westminster Confession of Faith 18.2
Start with the promises, because they do not change when you do. God has promised everlasting life to everyone who believes on the Son (John 3:36), and that was as true on the morning you felt nothing as on the morning you wept for joy.
Then look at the graces with an honest eye. A weak trust in Christ counts. So does hatred of the sin you keep falling into, and grief that you love him so little. Every grace is imperfect in this life, so the graces confirm the promise and never replace it. Start with them and you will find a reason to doubt each one.
Last comes the Spirit himself, who bears witness with our spirit that we are the children of God (Romans 8:16). He bears that witness through the Word, often quietly, in the simple fact that you come to God as a child comes to his father.
Maybe my faith was never real
The Confession says in 18.3 that assurance is not of the essence of faith, and that a true believer may wait long before he has it. A lack of certainty does not prove a lack of faith. The Larger Catechism goes further.
One who doubteth of his being in Christ, or of his due preparation to the sacrament of the Lord’s supper, may have true interest in Christ, though he be not yet assured thereof; and in God’s account hath it, if he be duly affected with the apprehension of the want of it, and unfeignedly desires to be found in Christ, and to depart from iniquity:
Westminster Larger Catechism Q&A 172
If it troubles you that you are not sure, and you truly want to be found in Christ and to be done with your sin, then the Catechism says you may belong to Christ before you are sure of it, and that in God’s account you do. That answer asks what you want. It does not ask whether you have won the fight yet.
There is also a shorter road than weighing your faith. You do not have to settle whether the first time was real. You can come to Christ today.
I am afraid I was not chosen
Election is true, and the Confession says it should bring abundant consolation to all who sincerely obey the gospel. The gospel is obeyed by believing it, and Paul puts the two words side by side (Romans 10:16). You are not asked to read the decree to find your name there, and nobody can read it and find his name left out.
Jesus said no one can come to him unless the Father draws him (John 6:44). If you have come to Christ, however weakly, the Father drew you. So believers may be assured of their election from the certainty of their calling (WCF 3.8), and Peter tells us to make our calling and election sure (2 Peter 1:10). Look for your election in the call you answered.
While you wait
Do Not Fight This Alone
A page cannot sit with you or pray over you. Tell your pastor or an elder what you are afraid of. Keep sitting under the preached Word, and if you are a communing member, do not stay away from the Lord’s Table while your doubts are being answered. The Larger Catechism says it was appointed for the relief even of weak and doubting Christians (Q&A 172). Safe in His Keeping gives a few things to do while you wait for the fear to lift.
If you cannot tell whether you have ever come to Christ, do not wait to settle it. Come to him now. He promised to cast out none who come (John 6:37), and the gospel is set out for you in full.