How to Pray

What Prayer Is

Prayer is an offering up of our desires unto God, for things agreeable to his will, in the name of Christ, with confession of our sins, and thankful acknowledgment of his mercies.

Westminster Shorter Catechism Q&A 98

That one answer holds most of what you need. Prayer is asking. It asks for what God has said he wills. It comes through Christ, because no sinner can come to God any other way (John 14:6, Hebrews 4:14-16). And it is honest about sin and thankful for mercy.

God does not need fine words. He hears through his Son, and his Spirit helps you when you do not know what to say (Romans 8:26). So pray plainly.

How to Pray

1. Come in Christ’s name. That is not a phrase to tack on at the end. It means you come trusting his blood and his intercession, not your own record (Hebrews 10:19-22). If you have never come to Christ, start there. The gospel tells you how.
2. Start with God, not your list. Say who he is and thank him for what he has done. Jesus taught us to begin, Our Father which art in heaven, Hallowed be thy name (Matthew 6:9).
3. Confess your sins by name. Name the sins you know of. You need not hunt out every passing thought before you may pray. He is faithful and just to forgive (1 John 1:9).
4. Ask for what you need. Daily bread, help against a particular sin, wisdom for a decision, the salvation of someone you love. Ask plainly and specifically (Philippians 4:6).
5. Pray for others. Your family, your church and its elders, the persecuted church, those in authority (1 Timothy 2:1-2), and your enemies (Matthew 5:44).
6. Leave the answer with him. Ask, and then submit, as Christ did in the garden, Not my will, but thine, be done (Luke 22:42).

Use the Lord’s Prayer as the Pattern

The Shorter Catechism says the Lord’s Prayer is given as a direction for prayer (Q&A 99). Each line teaches you what to ask.

1. Our Father which art in heaven. Come with reverence and with a child’s confidence.
2. Hallowed be thy name. Ask that God be honored, in you and everywhere.
3. Thy kingdom come. Ask for the gospel to go out, for sinners to be converted, and for Christ’s return.
4. Thy will be done in earth, as it is in heaven. Ask for willing obedience, yours first.
5. Give us this day our daily bread. Ask for what this day needs, and leave tomorrow with him (Matthew 6:34).
6. Forgive us our debts, as we forgive our debtors. Ask for pardon, and forgive the people who wronged you.
7. Lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from evil. Ask to be kept from sin and from the evil one.

What Displeases God in Prayer

1. Empty repetition. Jesus warned against vain repetitions, as the heathen do (Matthew 6:7). Saying the same words is not the problem. Saying them without meaning them is.
2. Praying to be seen. Do not pray to impress anyone (Matthew 6:5-6).
3. Holding on to a sin you mean to keep. If I regard iniquity in my heart, the Lord will not hear me (Psalm 66:18). Let go of it, then pray.
4. Praying to anyone but God. Not to saints, not to angels, not to Mary. Prayer is a part of worship, and it belongs to God alone, through the one mediator, Christ (1 Timothy 2:5, WCF 21.2).
5. Treating God like a vending machine. Faith asks boldly and trusts him with the answer (James 1:5-7, 4:3).

Make It a Habit

1. Pick a time and a place. Morning before the house wakes is the old counsel. Any set time is better than none (Psalm 5:3, Mark 1:35).
2. Pray with your Bible open. Read a passage, then turn what it says into prayer.
3. Pray with your household. Even a few minutes after supper. See How to Lead Family Worship.
4. Pray with the church. Join the public prayers on the Lord’s Day and the prayer meeting if your church has one.
5. Keep a short list. Names and needs, so you remember to pray and to give thanks when God answers.

When you cannot pray at all, read a psalm aloud and make it your prayer. Psalm 13, Psalm 51, and Psalm 86 are good places to start. If God feels far away, read When God Feels Far.